If he refuses or things don’t improve, you may want to consult a lawyer. Tell him you love him, but your sex life is unsatisfactory, and if he loves you, he will agree to talk things out with a licensed marriage and family therapist. Find a time when you are both calm to talk to him. Instead of dealing with a selfish or sexually repressed husband, you will have, in addition, one who is outraged when he discovers your infidelity. His behavior reflects his need to gain control over the. IT’S STALE IN THE MIDWESTĭEAR IT’S STALE: Cheating won’t help your situation. When a partner gives you the silent treatment, you might feel a crazy need to make him talk. How do I get him to be less selfish without hurting his feelings? I’m on the verge of cheating. When I ask him to change things up or return the same foreplay, it results in us not connecting at all. He expects things from me and refuses to reciprocate, which leaves me unhappy and unsatisfied. I now realize what a selfish lover my husband is. And when he returns, do NOT give him the third degree.ĭEAR ABBY: I am a 41-year-old mother of three, married less than two years. Make plans with friends during the evenings so you won’t be sitting alone at home, stewing. The way to “get past this” is to stay very busy in his absence. Before he leaves, request that he send you a text confirming he has arrived safely, and another telling you when he has started back and expects to be home. It is a radical change of his behavior pattern, and I’m sure most women would be at least taken aback. A Lot of times the Silent Treatment has been ingrained in a person. Wait until he begins speaking to you again, and then address the issue. If your partner continues to give you the silent treatment time after time, help him work on redirecting the habit that has developed in his life. Am I right to be this upset, and how do I get past this? - SILENT TREATMENT IN ILLINOISĭEAR SILENT TREATMENT: I understand why you would find it upsetting that your boyfriend of a year and a half has unilaterally decided to go radio silent under these circumstances. Speak Up and Do your best to Change the negative pattern. He realizes his behavior isn’t normal and assures me we are OK, but I’m so hurt. We usually talk every day, and this seems extreme, especially since he will be spending a week with the woman who broke up with him and left him heartbroken (his words). He has apologized in advance but says he wants to concentrate on the girls and have a break from everything. The part I’m having real trouble with is that he told me he won’t call or text me the entire week that he is gone.
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